Emotional Maturity: A Self-Acquired Trait.


Modern world comes up with a load of stresses too, the journey from early civilization to today’s modern industrialized world the complexity of stresses have increased. Emotional maturity is not only an emotionally acquired skill but also comes up with a scientific approach and definition too. There are certain key essentials that helps in growing up emotionally.

1. Communication skills

Assertive communication is important, what we think cannot be apprehended until we learn to communicate it. Articulating   intentions and feelings with the right use of words is extremely important part of communication– and simply can’t fairly blame others for not understanding the crux of issue. It’s important to avoid blaming language as it just further complicates the actual issue.

2.  Courage to accept :

Learning to accept that sometimes things go wrong. It requires huge courage to take steps towards apologizing or thinking of improving the situation.

3. Toxic thoughts:

Give up sulking. If one feels hurts due to any x, y, z  then  storing up the hatred just adds up to toxicity .Life is short and precious instead of wasting time in absurd expectations. We need to communicate to people around what bothers us and then move on.

4. One in the hand better than two in the bush rule:

With age there are less chances of instant crushes and infatuations. Now, you’re poignantly aware that everyone, however externally charming or accomplished, would be different otherwise, One needs to learn to love those around us, comparisons are a constant source of unhappiness. Idealizing other’s situation not only leads to depressing thoughts but also hinders one to understand that everyone has different challenges in life.

5.  Joy in everyday life:

Ceasing to put too much hope in grand plans for happiness and celebrating the little things that go well. In this process we all  learn   and experience  that satisfaction comes in increments of minutes. Definition of a great day would be a day passed without any burden of grief, joy is always in small things.

6. Reactive Behavior:

Abrupt emotional reactions or disturbance by easily getting triggered due to people’s negative behavior. Before getting furious or riled or upset, a pause to wonder what they might really have meant  helps   to build a disjuncture between what is said and what is meant.

7.  Things can wrong too :

You learn to calm your anxieties not by telling yourself that everything will be fine. In many areas, it won’t. You build up a capacity to think that at any point things can go wrong, but even then they are broadly survivable. Acceptance towards a  plan B; and that the world is broad, fluid and ever changing  thinking that a few kindly souls are always to be found and that the most horrid things are, in the end, endurable.

8.  Package Deal of life:

Life comes with package deals, instead of focusing on weaknesses, look at the bigger picture i.e. considering the strengths too it helps in counter-balancing.  Rather than solely thinking too much on weak areas an overall holistic picture gives a fair idea.  Yes someone is a bit messy, but at the same time brilliantly creative and very visionary. The realization (truly) that perfect people don’t exist – and that every strength will be tagged with a weakness makes life easier.

9. Perfection does it exist?

Too much belief in perfection leads to frustration. There aren’t any perfect people, perfect jobs, perfect couples or perfect lives. Instead gratitude and appreciation of what is (to use the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s exemplary phrase) ‘good enough.’ You realize that many things in your life are at once quite frustrating – and yet, in many ways, eminently good enough.

10. Small things matter:

There is an enormous influence of so-called ‘small’ things on  mood: bed-times, blood sugar and nicotine levels, degrees of background stress etc. And as a result, you learn never to bring up an important, contentious issue with a loved one until everyone is well rested, no one is hyperactive, you’ve had some food, the small acts of understanding the situation and right timing many times prove to be the main elements.

There are many more suggestion which can be added into the list. And addition or deletion is solely upon your good self. In the end I have a question, Are you emotionally Mature? Answer to this question lies in how well one is willing to work on self-development and look inward to seek happiness rather than depending on others. Good Luck

 


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