There are always pitfalls of new inventions that are made to make people’s lives better, in addition to their utility. Along with inventions, conventions are also changing, which is not really favorable for people who are influenced and can’t really afford and that counts celebrating events in such a way that is more than your pocket allows.
Nowadays, wedding ceremonies, birthday parties, themed parties, wedding anniversaries and even gender reveal parties, along with similar occasions, are commemorated by lavish spending. This trend has proliferated so widely that, if you have the means, it is now obligatory to celebrate certain occasions.
The age of a child’s marriage is no longer a concern for people; rather, they want to raise a great deal of money to help them celebrate as everyone else does. There are four classifications in our society, the aristocracy or ruling elite at the top, able to live as they choose without worrying about their finances and affording to spend ostentatiously, which is squandering.
Next are Affluent people who are living a good lifestyle. They do not have a lot to spend but a little to save. They don’t lower their living standards in order to ensure the integrity of their ceremonies, but they do continue to save money for special occasions and events like wedding ceremonies in order to meet the standards of the Elite class and compete with them to be recognized as comparable or of superior caliber.
The next category is Affluent or the “Middle class,” to which the majority of individuals in society belong and whose members are most prevalent. Middle-Class people have various types in accordance with the variations in their incomes. Three out of four members of our society suffer as a result of these tendencies, majorly extravagant weddings, which some people are now calling to cease and put an end to. They face immense standard discrimination, particularly in following customs and rituals, as they do even struggle to enhance their living standards since they are mediocre.
How does society suffer?
No one wants to be termed impoverished except for a small number of people who want empathy among a large population.
Mediocre are those who dedicate their entire lives to raising their livability, but when it comes to family festivities, they are compelled to spend all of their savings on their daughter’s dowry or lavish wedding celebrations of their son’s Walima and sadly, all of this for social approval and to fit in the culture of pernicious customs.
Customs are way more profuse than they are supposed to be, such as pre-dholak festivities, Sangeet, bridal showers, Barat, Walima, post-wedding receptions, Anniversaries, baby showers, first- and sixth-month celebrations, pre- and post-birthday celebrations and most devastating is the followed conventions of the funeral. Even after a big loss, it is yet expected from bereaved individuals to serve splendid meals without considering their deprivation, and this is the saddest tragedy for the sufferer.
How are they influenced?
Those who are prone to waste money on events often remark, “We haven’t urged you to spend money as we do. We have bucks, so we do. You don’t have, and so you shouldn’t.” This is an actual issue with the culture and society.
If the Middle-income group embraces simplicity over a lush celebration of their events, then they would be easily distinguished and labeled in accordance with the social hierarchy, which could be deriding. Being poor or Middle-class isn’t a stigma, neither is being wealthy a sign of superiority, but individuals belonging to their respective classes, either affluent or impoverished, are aware of how miserable it is to reside in a community where you are constantly being scrutinized and judged, even unwittingly.
This is how the Elite class affects the self-esteem of other classes inadvertently, and thus It’s better to keep occasions simple or very private.
While the lower class is just seeking food thrice a day, with a roof above their heads and shoes between their feet and the ground. They, too, want to live fulfilled lives, but they are not subjected to any social pressure to enhance their lifestyles. Some individuals, albeit not all, keep their self-esteem very low and even resort to begging in order to make both ends meet. My opinion might be harsh but relatable to facts.
Events according to the Islamic teachings
In Islam, marriages are simple and basic, but we have made them hard for ourselves by taking our cues from non-Muslim and Western societies and have headed way too far. Saving extra money for marriage would not really be required if we adhere to Islamic principles in all aspects of our lives, including celebrations of every kind; life will be simpler and easier because there is no denunciation in having to spend a little expense on such occasions which any can easily afford and that creates equality and no demarcation between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat when it comes to celebrating events, following Shariah.
Extravagance celebration of events has become customary now and, here in Pakistan, has become chic. Organizing too many events for a single wedding is a monetary waste done for amusement that is not valued in Islam.
‘How simple you keep; is how you live in peace.’ A.S Hayat
Direct impact on marriage delay
People continue to accumulate savings and frequently pass their prime age as a consequence of a lack of funds for grand weddings. While Islam supports and encourages marriage as soon as feasible after puberty when a person is mature enough. It can be argued that marriage doesn’t have to do anything with age, and there’s no prime age but the point is delaying marriage leads to issues like illicit love affairs. Late marriage is actually a precursor of dalliance and also impacts sexual initiation hereafter.
The Curse of Dowry
Among the three most severe penalties in Islam, one is dowry which is strictly discouraged in Islam. Demanding dowry is even cheaper and reflects greed. While those who can afford to give dowry and as well as flaunt what they have spent money on. This is the auto-built pressure that persuades the class of the society who can’t afford but are coerced to give these luxuries in the name of wedding gifts, dowry, and as a matter of fact, the middle class is judged by their giving, where standards are set high, and expectations are raised. When these expectations are not met, it has a negative impact on the married couple’s terms of marriage and families in general.
What is marriage, actually?
Marriage is actually a companionship between two families and, more significantly, a bond between two people that later grows into a new family and continues as the life cycle progresses. It’s not an event of life for which each and every earning and saving has to be spent, reputedly for feeding guests invited to witness your wedding and which sometimes ends in divorce, which is quite a tragedy.
The simpler, you try to become,
The easier, your life will become,
The lighter, you’ll feel
The happier, you’ll be.
When you choose simplicity, you choose to be content. Ultimately, only happiness counts. Not the one that merely satisfies expectations and conforms to social norms and standards but the true one, the rare one.
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