March 8 is celebrated as International Women’s Day around the world to celebrate the achievements of women and to highlight the atrocities and inequalities they suffer in their daily lives. In Pakistan, the day is getting significant attention for a couple of years due to the active mobilisation and participation of women and men from different strata of society. Rifts and controversies start way earlier before the month starts. People start to argue on various social media platforms and women get rape and death threats that raise questions on the safety and security of women in online spaces as roads and public spaces are already unsafe for them.
Pakistan is one of the countries that fall at the bottom of gender parity. According to the Global Gender Gap Report 2021, Pakistan ranked 153rd out of a total of 156 countries, only better than Iraq, Yemen, and Afghanistan and has a second last position in South Asia where Bangladesh has the 65th position and Sri Lanka and India are performing better than us. Pakistan often attracts international media attention due to the brutalities women suffer. Despite pressures through social media and other platforms, getting justice is a huge task that hinders women from reporting violence to the police and other law enforcement agencies.
Homes are considered safe places for women, but they are the worst victims of violence in them. In a study of domestic violence against women in Punjab, women’s attempts of suicide appeared as a shocking finding as three of the women attempted to end their lives.
Samina was a mother of three sons and married to her cousin who was serving in the police department. She was physically tortured on minor issues while the history of the family indicated that his father had a similar attitude towards his mother. Samina was once brutally injured, she took protection from her neighbour to save her life. Later on, she was taken by her parents while she was not given custody of her children. She pleaded with her husband for the children but was not allowed to see them. She ultimately took poison to end her life and could not survive despite being taken to the hospital.
In the case of Shaheen, she took acid to end her life but was survived due to timely hospitalization. She was in a miserable condition despite seven months of medical treatment. Her eldest daughter had all the burden of looking after the young siblings that resulted in her leaving the school.
It is not just a woman who suffers, children are also equally get impacted by their domestic circumstances. Samina’s husband was involved with other women and was not providing any financial support to the family. He did not change his attitude despite constant disputes at home. She was not willing to continue her marriage, her parents pressurised to stay with him as she has daughters and society does not accept the proposals of girls whose parents are divorced.
In the third case, Asia was struggling with low self-esteem and self-worth due to the abusive behaviour of her husband and in-laws. She took a random medicine in bulk to end her life but was survived as her husband came across her attempt of suicide and she was given medical support. Asia told the writer that she always tried her best to make her husband and in-laws happy, but they never got satisfied and abused her, which created a sense of guilt in her that she was not good at anything. This resulted in her multiple attempts to end her life.
Domestic violence is not reported frequently with the police due to its hidden nature as women suffer at a place that is considered safest for them. Besides, family honour, children, and financial dependence of women are the biggest barriers that hinder them to leave abusive relationships. Ultimately, the only option left is to end their lives.
In such circumstances, the importance of women’s day is more than ever due to the alarming situation of violence against women and particularly domestic violence against women in Pakistan. Reporting to the police is not an option as domestic violence is considered the personal matter of the family and a women approaching the police for help is considered a shameful act. Besides, mental health is considered a stigma and there are least avenues of support for women facing violence from their husbands and affinal families. They are advised to compromise that results in the suffering of women in isolation.
The patriarchal mindset of the society needs to be changed through planned media campaigns, targeted economic empowerment of women, safe housing for women and preventing stigmatization of divorce so that women could think of leaving abusive relationships instead of ending their lives.
Note: Names have been changed to protect identities.
- Suffering in Silence - 01/03/2022
