Our learning begins with our advent in this world. We start learning firstly through our senses, our experiences, and then through what we are taught. Our parents and teachers want us to learn the best they want us to know what they like us to know and vice versa. The latest scientific researches show that our minds are 90 to 95% subconscious (our auto-function), and this subconscious runs from birth to 6-7 years of age when we roughly begin to develop our conscious minds (that controls our willpower).
In a nutshell, our childhood experiences and learning play an imperative role in shaping our personalities. Almost every parent knows that childhood is the best time to make their kids learn. But what kind of learning they prefer varies. Moreover, the means and methods preferred by the parents for learning also vary. Nevertheless, the overall focus is to train a kid to comply with social norms and beliefs. Parents hold different wishes for the future of their kids.
We might have often heard people saying that they will make their future kid a doctor, a lawyer, a pilot, an athlete, etc. Well, of course, these wishes also vary from class to class that is to say an elite parent might hold a different wish for their kid than the wish a poor or a middle-class parent might hold. And what kind of efforts are put by the parents in their child’s learning also varies.
Most of the parents rely on better educational institutions to help their children to become what they wish for them. Some parents let their children decide what they want for themselves and help them accordingly. But do the parents especially in our society work on the emotional training of their kids? Are the parents in our society even aware of emotional impacts on a child’s personality? We see, as a part of parenting, that children have prescribed hours for studies, play, food, entertainment, etc.
We also see things such as obedience, piousness, truthfulness, etc. As part of the character-building of the children. Parents want their kids to return home before it’s too late in the evening, they want their girls to wear dupatta before they even reach puberty so that this habit remains a permanent part of their character. While parenting, parents are concerned if their boy is not taking drugs or watching porn and they are even more concerned if their girl is not dating a boy. They highly focus on such a check and balance on their kids, especially on their girls. But how many parents wonder if their kids are neglected? If they’re emotionally satisfied? Do We as a parent ask our kids if they feel lonely, insecure, unconfident?
Do we bother to address these issues and do we even bother to wonder how these unaddressed issues are going to haunt our kids throughout their lives? Are we aware of the vulnerability caused in our kids while carrying such voids in their lives? Do we even know the issues of low self-esteem that our kids can face in their lives let alone the causes? Psychology says that belittling your kids in every matter creates a sense of low self-confidence in them.
The unresolved traumas and issues make a large part of a child’s subconscious that affects them throughout life. It decides how polished, strong, and groomed one’s personality is. To have a polished, strong, and groomed personality is a requisite to have stability in every aspect of life. Our insecurities, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem that we inherit from our inner child make us a vulnerable person, prone to exploitation at the hands of others, and unsatisfied.
To be deprived of love and attention from the parents make a person always looking for validation and thinking themselves to be never enough. If we’re not accepted by our parents or those raising us, we’re never gonna be able to own and love ourselves. Have we ever wondered while raising our girls that what if she feels unwanted, weak, insecure, incapable in her future, and how to train her to feel otherwise than worrying about her piousness alone? Have we ever felt concerned about the fear of commitment and instability in their relations than feeling concerned about their jobs while raising our boys? We need to train our kids emotionally, we need to work for the grooming of our kids’ personalities instead of their compliance with social norms and standards alone.