Humans are known as social animals therefore relationships are considered as a must for their survival. Going by this theory relationships should have become stronger as the human civilization has progressed leaps and bounds. On the contrary we have seen a continuous decline in relationships strength and bonding. Declining quality is worrisome, but the violence and aggression that has plagued these relationships is a warning sign for any civilized society. It symbolizes the underlying problem which the modern world is facing, deteriorating mental health. Canada has actively participated in 16 days of activism against gender-based violence and rightly so. In Canada it’s on the rise just like the rest of the world and unfortunately violence among couples too has increased over the past few years. It indicates the need of a guideline for people heading towards the path of intimate relationships as it is usually difficult to overcome the losses once the disaster has struck the relationship.

Creating Green Zone relationships is the most important step of Green-zone living as it leads to a peaceful home and society eventually. The people who are in synchronization with their feelings and emotions and know how to avoid triggering factors leading to violent red or irritating yellow zone. They can create green zone relationships. Especially in the communities where arrange marriages or marriages at young age are common , the self-discovery process is hampered or people coming from red zone households carry the emotional baggage in these future relationships creating problems for the other partner too. Green zone love is a Cycle of love which is similar to Cycle of life .Cycle of love starts with the development of a healthy intimate relationship, maintaining it with mindful actions and when need rise partners separate from each other in a respectful way, ending it without restoring to violence, recovering from the separation and starting a healthy relationship all over again. This ”Cycle of love“ is the need of hour , as people clinging to long died relationships create not only problems for themselves but also for society .For couples spending their lives in frustration green zone therapy offers a permanent self-help support by creating lifestyle changes, opening channels of focused communication, avoiding using red flag words and sentences and recalling the past demons , practicing 3 R ’s Recognizing ,Recovering and Restraining leading to mutual Respect among partners , having ability to differentiate between central and peripheral issues impacting relationships, creating one‘ s own personal green zone with mutual and separate friends along with creative hobbies and the most interesting part of this psychotherapy based on famous writer Kafka letter to his father ”writing letter“ to your partner clearly describing your feeling and emotions without any accusation is a game changer, shifting communication from argument, screaming, verbal violence to sensible dialogue. Finances are playing a major role in causing distress among couples along with the traditional roles. Dr. Khalid Sohail has very tactfully dealt with this sensitive area with his theory of ”Love model“ and ”Business model“ .Through these models he successfully demonstrates to the Red zone couples the importance of shifting their relationship priorities from money to love and respect.

As in Green-zone couples, partners are helpful towards each other, creating their own and respecting other ’s personal space and boundaries, encouraging each other growth and being a stimulant for it, balancing work, love, sex, intimacy and freedom and have a positive communication and contribution to each other families and society. Along with this they are ready to be separated without any deep scars.

In the Cycle of Relationships Intimate relationships play the most pivotal role. If the Green zone couple decides to have children in future it will lead to green zone family and initiate chain reaction of loving and respecting families eradicating violence from relationships, creating harmonious peaceful societies.

 

 

Dr. Sara Ali
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