How Does An Introvert Think?

It was the previous day when our teacher of the subject “logic and reasoning” assigned a task to write about our personality type. At first, I was a little confused, then took a start with a question, “What am I?”

Here, I am in a dilemma about how to answer the question of being introverted and extroverted. But, I am quite sure that I will categorize myself as an introvert. Why I am saying this is because I have observed myself over the past few years. In my childhood, when I was studying in primary school, I felt a little bit different from others.

For me, the universe was something to think about. I used to spend hours and hours observing different things happening in my surroundings. My friends were different in this regard. They were used to play games and joining parties and events. I, on the contrary, was bored with all such activities. The home was the only place for me with complete peace of soul and mind. I used to sit alone to study books or write something. I had multiple ideas in my mind, but I was unable to express them in front of someone. For sure, I changed many of those ideas into reality, too.

I was sensitive to everything. I used to cry over little things. I cried whenever I looked at the people with crying faces. I still remember the day when my mom was crying at her mom’s death, and as l looked at her, I cried much louder. Most of the day, I used to sit in the corner of the house thinking of different things. Whenever it rained or the wind blew or heard the sound of a thunderstorm, I would think for hours had not slept properly for many nights because of thoughts of the consequences afterwards the death of my mom and father. Whenever I felt any sort of silence while sleeping, I directly approached my father’s heart to see whether it was beating or not, and even today, I am facing the same problem. I hated all sorts of ceremonies and gatherings, both marriages and deaths. I am so introverted that I consider each of my friends an introvert, too.

I observe people doing wrong to me, but to be honest, I don’t have the heart to hate or hurt them. My friends were so anxious about my behaviour, but what could I do that was natural? With time, I gained more achievements, for sure, that was all because of this behaviour. Later on, when I joined Cadet College, I started realizing the problems.

In that phase of my life, I was compelled to do activities with my friends. I always preferred to eat alone, and even I would prefer a simple dish alone over a five-course meal in a five-star hotel, crowded. But I was trapped in such a place (Cadet College) where everything was different, like eating together with hundreds of fellows at a time, playing games, frequent room shifting, doing PT and drill with them, combined dinners, and watching a movie together in a big hall with much noise.

Things got changed when I was promoted to matric, where I was given command of more than a hundred cadets. I started interacting with them as I was compelled to do so. For a time, I considered myself to be an extrovert, but later on, I found that was only a change of personality and not of the temperament of being an introvert.

The time passed on, and I entered my college life. The problems were even more elaborated to me, but I started adjusting with time but was unable to do so. Now, I am in university life but still facing the same problems. I pass a fake smile while sitting in gatherings, though my inner soul cries. Today, I am in search of a soulmate. I still want to celebrate my birthday with one or two more close friends. I hate fighting. I am afraid in crowds. I am in love with peace, peaceful places, places with pleasant views, and a plethora of space. Countrysides in the suburbs with lesser people and more nature attract me the most. I would like to have a hall-like room to roam around and be free. I want a world where life is lived at a slower, more pleasant pace.

In short today I have a lot to discuss but am unable to express in the gathering or whenever I go to the stage my hands start shivering. I don’t like to raise my hand in class to answer, though many times I know the answers. Simply I prefer one-to-one discussion. My dear introverted friends and fellows, I am always here, for listening to your problems and stories. Never be upset; being introverted is a blessing.

I have a hundred stories to tell you and would like to listen to you as well. So let’s join hands together. I will request my extroverted friends to please understand the problems of introverts and react accordingly. What I gained as an introvert will be posted next.