What a Daughter Feels …

Although we live in the same house but we hardly meet for ten or fifteen minutes daily. When I get up in the morning, he has already left for office. He arrives home late and tired. Mostly he is so tired that he goes to sleep early. I have just one or two meals with him in a week. He takes lunch in the office and dinner with his friends or relatives. I’ve stopped waiting for him at dinner as I know now that he would come home and tell me that he had dinner with his friend and I should have not waited for so long.

Sometimes I want to sit with him and talk to him about my life, about his life. I want to share my thoughts with him, to let him know how I feel about things around me and how I want them to be. But he can’t spare so much time for these words of mine.

He is a busy man. He has been working hard all of his life. Sometimes when he is tired or frustrated, he tells me that he is not working hard for himself. He works for me, to provide me with every luxury of life, to fulfill my needs and wishes. He works because he wants to see me happy, contented, and satisfied. He wants to provide me all that I desire. I know why he has been working so hard all of his life, so I never complain.

He is a great man. He has sacrificed so much for me, maybe more than what I deserved… Still, there is something missing in our life. He has indulged himself in so many activities to earn a good living that he rarely gets a chance to sit with me and talk to me. I don’t remember when we had a cup of tea together last time. I don’t remember when he hugged me last time or placed his hand on my head with the love and care that I long for.

All I know is that even if he is not with me all day but still he is working for me. Working so hard that he gets sick sometimes and I feel so sad about it. I don’t know how I can help him to get out of such hard work. I want to tell him that it’s not the luxurious life that satisfies me or makes me happy. It’s the time that I spend with him that gives me all that I want. I smile when I see him happy and relaxed. I don’t want to be the reason for his tiresome life and sick leaves. I want to be the reason for his smile and comfort. Having a meal with him makes me feel healthier and stronger. It’s just the feeling of happiness that matters to me.

I wish I could ever let him know, I wish I could ever tell him, “Papa! Please don’t work so hard for us. I am happy with all that we have. I don’t want anything else except you. I don’t like to see you tired and frustrated. I never complain and I promise I’ll never demand. All I want is to see you happy and healthy, living a balanced life with your family, and enjoying this precious time with us. Just don’t be away from us. Life can be managed without luxuries, but never without you …
Written on: 8 November 2010

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Noushah Arshad

Hailed from the historical city of Bahawalpur, Noushah Arshad is an entrepreneur, bilingual blogger, a sketch artist and a mom of two. Noushah is a keen observer and she usually writes about things derived from social and emotional interconnectivity.