Raising Gentlemen: Instilling Raised Conduct Over Raised Voices

We are often asked to define empowerment, yet women are rarely encouraged to feel empowered. They are not often made to feel they belong in society as equals. The misconception about equality is that it means being equivalent to men, but this is not the truth. Equality for women means not being subjected to undue pressure to always get things right. It means not being forced to deliver perfect results when trying something new, just as men are given the leniency to embrace the idea that “there is always a next time.”

Typically, when a woman is behind the wheel for the first time, some men are always in their air-conditioned cars or on motorbikes shouting instructions or criticisms. This adds extra anxiety to her already stressful task, making her feel she must meet the expectations of everyone around her. Men who yell out of frustration are often the same ones who blame women for not being strong enough to contribute financially and in other ways. These men do not see that constant intensive monitoring and harsh criticism erode a person’s confidence and self-belief. How can a woman remain emotionally stable when subjected to regular “do it right or you’re dumb” speeches?

This emotional instability and lack of confidence lead to severe self-doubt, crippling a woman’s decision-making abilities. She starts questioning every step: Am I doing it right? Is it making sense? Will it prove my capability? Does it add value? Am I authorized to make this decision? What will people say about taking a risk and trying something new? What if my courage is mistaken for vulgarity? What if I am labeled inappropriately? How will I defend my actions when no one will listen with an open mind? These questions plague women before and after any action they take, whether verbal or physical.

Although laws are passed to address women’s issues, societal culture remains unchanged. Misogynistic mindsets persist. For example, women are often blamed for provoking men into inappropriate actions. Similarly, women are judged harshly and looked upon with unkind eyes for walking alone in a park, driving alone late at night, or smiling while on a call. They are labeled as ‘not good’ if they are friends with the opposite gender even if the friendship is ‘clean and innocent,’ or if a man initiates the bond himself. Conversely, a man in the same situation is often seen as a victim of a woman’s manipulation for the sake of money or status. This “gutter mindset” needs to change. Women should not be viewed as objects without the right to express themselves openly. The exercise of scaring women with inappropriate labels when they ask exactly what they want must change. The practice of insulting women publicly for actions men get away with due to biological differences must change. The practice of ignoring a woman’s potential, because her decisions might challenge the inflated ego, needs to change.

Implementing these changes could significantly elevate societal standards. Picture a society where individuals are evaluated based on their character and actions, not gender. Quotas intended to mask biases would become unnecessary, and segregated police stations for women’s protection would be obsolete as harassment threats dissipate. This vision includes a society where added laws to mandate respect are redundant because mutual respect is a given. Raising one’s voice at a woman would be seen as a sign of poor upbringing rather than strength.

This society will be born if men are raised with good conduct, where raised voices are not mistaken for masculinity. Respect would be inherent, not enforced, and mutual regard would be the norm rather than the exception. By addressing deep-seated biases and shedding outdated mindsets, we can create a society where everyone can express themselves freely and live without fear of judgment or undue criticism, fostering an environment where all feel empowered, safe, and accepted.